E-mail has revolutionized communication. It has exponentially increased workplace interaction; decisions can be made in moments, and forwards keep the workers entertained. People keep in touch with quick little greetings and stories of the day’s happenings. E-mail is a wonderful thing, and many of us have no idea where we’d be without it.
E-mail, however, can get you into trouble. Misunderstandings abound, and what was meant as a joke or a heartfelt sentiment can be interpreted as a snarky mean thing to say. Friendships are strained; lovers quarrel. Happens all the time. This is why e-mail is best reserved for light, quick communication. Potentially sensitive topics are best avoided.
Thus, e-mail is not to be used to break up with someone you’ve been dating for months. Someone you’ve told you love. Someone you’ve said that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. E-mail messages lack the element of timing (you may have written it at one in the morning, but your break-up-ee could read the break-up e-mail at work, in the middle of a busy day, and have to leave in tears). E-mail messages are one-sided communications, and the other person cannot respond in the moment. No matter how much anguish you express, no matter how many nice things you say, it’s still a fucking electronic message bouncing around in cyberspace. Break-up e-mails are a cowardly, selfish, fuckass horrid way to say goodbye to someone you once loved, especially when you never communicated in person that there were problems. There’s no closure for the other person, there’s no nothing. Except rage and disbelief that someone the person loved could be so cold.
If it ever occurs to you, dear reader, to break off a significant relationship via the information superhighway, please think carefully. Your ex will only think of you as a spineless, cowardly, useless, self-absorbed, fuckhead bastard piece of shit. And those are the nice words.
Buck up. Be an adult. Show some respect, if not for the person, then for the memory of what you had. For God’s sake, at least use the fucking telephone.