The Friday Song
It’s a gray day here in New England, the kind of day made for blankets, reading, movies, and hot chocolate. Alas, I’m here in the office, attempting to engage in productive labor. Not going so well, that, so I thought that I would teach you my “Friday Song.” I am going to sing the “Friday Song” despite the weather and my general state of mind. Please join me.
The “Friday Song” does not have a proper tune (I have many talents—singing is not one of them), but it is a catchy little sing-song-y ditty that goes like this:
To-day is Fri-day
I am so hap-py
It is the week-end
I get to go play
[Now you list your plans for the weekend. Here are mine:
I’m on the look-out
For sex-y shoes
I’ll spend the rest
The way I choose]
I hope you sing along!
Like everyone else, I get tons of spam these days. I feel like writing these spammers and telling them that since I don’t have the body part they are offering to enhance that they could at least tempt me with something useful. Some spam, however, is memorable. I thought I’d share.
Best Subject Line Ever: Wary Knitting Needle
I picture the spammy message saying something like this: Slipping past the previous stitch, the needle paused. Just stop the clicking for a moment so I can think! What happens next? Knit? Purl? What to do, what to do, what to do? Think fast! The wary knitting needle sized up the next stitch. It could be the last.
Best Overall Messages: Stock tips from Jesus
I get a lot of these.
Best Article Title I’ve Seen in Ages: Vicar’s Knicker Run Rescues Town
I picture this vicar rather like the vicar in the film version of A Room with a View. He has a knowing wink, and you know that he’s had a few pervy thoughts, but he’s still a loveable geezer, and he means well. And saying vicar and knicker together is just fun.