Christmas Cheer

Hot Chocolate and the Best Yard Sale Find Ever

After I graduated from college I went home to live with my parents for a year before I started graduate school. Two of my high school friends also returned to our hometown, and the three of us divided our time between our lousy part-time jobs (I worked in a supermarket deli, one friend was a waitress, and the other ran a sandwich shop) and the bar. We partied. We had more boys after us than we’ve ever had since. We had no major responsibilities. We were miserable.

When Christmas rolled around that year, we all had to work Christmas Eve until mid-afternoon. It had snowed the day before, but the Christmas Eve broke sunny and not-too-cold, and so we decided to go sledding. All activities in those days required alcohol, of course, and the occasion called for something particularly festive. We decided upon a little concoction we dubbed “Christmas Cheer.”

Christmas Cheer is disgusting. Here’s the recipe:

You’ll Need:
2 heaping teaspoons instant hot chocolate per partaker
1 cup hot water per partaker
Peppermint schnapps, I’d say to taste, but it was really more to obliterate
1 candy cane per partaker
Instant whipped cream, if desired

To Assemble:
Boil the water
Add instant hot chocolate to mug
Add boiling water to about three-quarters full, and stir
Add schnapps (or shnappies, as my friends would say), and stir

To Garnish:
Spray whipped cream on top, if desired
Add candy cane—Festive!

Repeat, as often as desired

Poison

I don’t remember much of the sledding trip, but I do remember singing Christmas carols at the top of our lungs and feeling absolutely awful afterwards (but with minty fresh breath!). It was the best Christmas Eve ever. All anyone has to say is “Christmas Cheer, wink wink,” and we’ll sigh and get all misty-eyed with remembrance of our last carefree days.

Last Christmas one of the friends flew in to see her family. I picked her up in Boston, and we hung out for the evening at my place before heading to New Hampshire for the festivities. On a lark I had procured a bottle of peppermint schnapps under the pretence of making Christmas Cheer. We drank red wine and reminisced about it instead. Feeling wise and hangover-free, we left for New Hampshire the next day.

My neighbor, apparently short of booze for the holidays, broke into my apartment while I was away and stole my Christmas Cheer. My guess is that he spent Christmas Day avoiding all things merry and bright.
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6 responses to “Christmas Cheer

  1. Organic fairtrade cocoa, I love you; you’re sexy …

    As for you, Sassy, I love the verb to ‘obliterate’. That sounds like one hell of a day.

    Oh, and I hope your hellish neighbour family are all allergic to peppermint. Bastards.

    My own version of Christmas Cheer is somewhat less romantic.
    Sit by yourself in front of old black and white movie. Open bottle of scotch. Drink ’til you cry.
    Hee hee. Happy hols.

  2. Love you too, Dive.

    Your version of Christmas Cheer is much more classy. Wine tends to be the poison (like scotch, but it tends to get me shitfaced early), but the b/w movie and crying is great.

  3. I love the phrase “Christmas Cheer.” We used to have a motorhome, and since campgrounds don’t allow alcohol, we used to pour wine into big mugs and sit by the fire sipping “hot chocolate.” That doesn’t really have anything to do with your story, but I thought I’d share anyway.

    I can’t believe your neighbors stole your schnapps. (and no, Dive, that is not a euphemism, so the good Doctor doesn’t need to visit) Although, come to think of it, it would make a fine euphemism.

  4. I hate Christmas with all its pressures, falseness and cheesiness the only good Christmas is a drunken Christmas ho fucking ho, I will someday catch Santa and it will all be ended, I don’t want to brag but have you seen the tooth fairy about recently ? no I didn’t think so hahaha.

  5. Way to sneak the booze, Robyn! Actually another purpose of Christmas Cheer was to try not to let our families know how drunk we were—it didn’t work, but we laughed about it.

    I like the stealing of the schnapps. Rather like mojo. I dig it.

    Knudsen, kidnapping the Tooth Fairy will make you lose your schnapps.

  6. Mmmm, Christmas Cheer would be lovely right now. I might have to pick up a bottle on my way home tonight!

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