You’re Invited to a Pity Party!

You are most cordially invited to a Pity Party!

For: Sassy Sundry

When: Now, Before, Always

Why: Her Leg STILL Hurts a WEEK after Pulling a Muscle

I swear, I want to cut my leg off. I still can’t walk right. I can’t clean. I can’t do laundry. I can’t get all the effing empty boxes down the stairs and into the recycling bin. I can’t dance. People stare at me like I’m going to turn into Kaiser Soeze when I cross the street. People stare at me all the time. I want to beat them with sticks.

This sucks. Waaaaaaa. Pity me.

***Just In***

I’ll be serving this at my Pity Party. You can wash it down with rum and Moxie. I’ll have pork rinds too. I stole this from Found.

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13 responses to “You’re Invited to a Pity Party!

  1. Poor sad broken Sassy

  2. Stop whining and suck it up!

    (Perhaps you can get McI to do something to take your mind off it?)

  3. Ali, when I can walk again, I’m going to kick you in the bum. I really am in some serious pain.

  4. Ointment is what you need Sassy.

    Don’t have a clue which sort, but ointment is a good word and sounds like it should do you good.

    I think it was Charlie Brown who, when he hurt his leg, wanted the little red haired girl to kiss him on the top of his head and say “poor sweet baby”
    Maybe McI can help you there but for now you have Simian healing vibes on their way to soothe your poor hurty bits.

    I’m having the week from hell this week so you are not alone.

  5. ewwwwww. Koolaid pie?!? :-P

  6. Hey, Sassy.
    You’re too damned young and hot to pity. Get McI to do all the chores, then he can start kissing your leg better. Make him start at the toes and don’t let him stop ’til you’re a happy girl again.

    Oh, and beer is good.
    Muscle relaxant.

  7. Sorry to hear you’re in pain. I’ll come to your pity party–actually, as disgusting as that kool-aid pie sounds, I have to admit that if it were offered to me, I would have to try at least a tiny piece. hmmm

    Oh, and I love the illustration–it’s like a sick twist on the Velveteen Rabbit.

  8. Kool-aid residue…eh, no thanks. I can, however, offer a shuttle service if we ever again happen to walk out of the door at the same time. One shouldn’t be limping across a vast and desolate parking lot with a bad leg. Work has caused enough moments of pain and suffering as it is.

  9. Poor thing, I’ll send you healing energy.

  10. Flirty Something

    Oh my God, what a fab idea

    *runs out to arrange own pity party*

    Hope you feel better.

  11. What’s the story with your blag Sassy? This is the first time in about two weeks I’ve been able to get on it…

  12. Full, the word “ointment” makes me squirm. I’m sorry you are having a rough week.

    Thanks for the “young and hot” comment, Dive. You’ve never seen me, though, so I’m not sure if you can say that. I’ll see McI this weekend.

    Robyn, I’d never try the Kool-Aid pie, but I’m glad someone will.

    Happy Knudsen, you scare me a little. Thanks for the healing energy. I hope it doesn’t give me cancer.

    Flirty, they are very fun. And they make you feel better.

    Kave, I’ve heard that, but I don’t know what’s up. You have been missed. I’m glad it isn’t because you hate me.

  13. Uh, perhaps see a doctor? I mean, you have healthcare and all.

    Ointment…unguent? Linament? Goo? Ben Gay ointment-sure you’ll smell like an 80 year old, but who cares?

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