Pity Party the Second and Grey’s Anatomy as a Shakespearian Tragedy

Pity Party the Second
Pity Party the Second is in full swing—c’mon over. My effing leg hates me and wants to see me dead. I went to the doctor, but there wasn’t much she could do for me, aside from telling me that I might need to get a cane. I have a surgery consultation scheduled for next week if it doesn’t clear up. If it doesn’t clear up BEFORE next week, I might have to die. Or at least cut off my leg with a hacksaw. It might make a nice cane.

Just to be safe, my doctor sent me to get tested for blood clots today—an unpleasant exam if there ever was one. It’s an ultrasound that starts at the crotch and consists of having a tech pressing down with this little reader all the way down the leg. It tickles, and it’s incredibly embarrassing (having a little towel tucked into one’s panties like a dinner napkin makes one feel foolish). Sure it was cool to see my blood vessels and to hear what my blood sounds like, but all in all, I don’t recommend the experience. The upshot is that I don’t have blood clots, but I do have a motherload of pain and aggravation.

This sucks. Pass the rum and Moxie and Kool-Aid pie. Pity me!

Grey’s Anatomy as a Shakespearian Tragedy
In anticipation of tomorrow night’s two-hour episode of Grey’s Anatomy, Carissa and I tried to come up with some over-the-top things that should happen during the show. I think this could make for an excellent drinking game (if someone’s over-the-top plot point actually transpires during the episode, the others have to drink). Mine reminded me a Shakespearian tragedy.

Burke and Christina’s wedding is off.

Izzy eats all of the red velvet cake to try to get over George and requires emergency MacGyver surgery.

Meredith and Derek are quits, and Meredith does McSteamy in a fit of drunken self-loathing. She then jumps back in the Sound. She dies. Derek finds out about McSteamy. They kill each other.

Callie finds out about George and Izzy, and boots George out on his ear. George returns just in time to find Izzy on the operating table, her innards a mess of red velvet cake. Izzy dies. George commits suicide.

Burke gets shot again. He dies. Christina delivers a depressing speech and then goes on to perform some kickass surgeries in her wedding dress.

Your suggestions are welcome.

9 responses to “Pity Party the Second and Grey’s Anatomy as a Shakespearian Tragedy

  1. These are mine:

    1. Callie knows something’s up with George so she is really the person
    that Mark didn’t wait for Addison with. Callie feels guilty and tells
    George. They break up. He goes to Mercy West. Callie and Izzy engage
    in the cat fight of the century.

    2. McDreamy and Meredith break up. Derek doesn’t get to be chief anyway and now he’s hosed. In the meantime while Meredith is getting sloshed at the bar, Finn walks in and things look like they might start
    back up

    3. Christina freaks out the day before her wedding to Burke and gets it on with ex-boyfriend who is in town to try and talk her out of marrying Burke. Christina runs away and leaves Burke standing at the altar.

  2. I’ve got nothing to add to those fabulous Grey’s Anatomy plot ideas, but I will be coming to the party.

    I love a party!

  3. *runs in door, opens champagne, pours a couple of glasses, flops onto couch*

    Phew! Glad I made it for this one as I missed the last Pity Party, and they do rock. Let’s get pissed.
    That’s bad news re yer leg. Hope they sort it next week.
    I’ve never seen Grey’s Anatomy but how about the fit bloke shags the blonde chick who turns out to be a ladyboy. Then the geriatric couple who met at the hospital who are getting married have a wedding cake that has been laced with arsenic by the evil hospital administrator. Everyone at the hospital dies a slow and gruesome death…

  4. I’ve mailed you over a few vials of crack – brilliant for pain relief. I hear it’s mildly addictive though, so watch out.

  5. in my medical opinion and someone who works in neurology: may i suggest you get an EMG to get a close look at the nerves and muscles in you leg and lower back? always choose surgery as a last option. So much needless surgery is done on patients with back and leg symptoms.

  6. Carissa, those are classic. I hope they happen.

    Terroni, you are always welcome at my pity parties.

    Glad you could make it, Gaigin Girl. I hope things are looking up for you. I’ll let you know if any of your predictions come true.

    Kav, you are a real friend. My crack dealer just got busted, and I was fresh out.

    Rich, if it continues to get worse, I will do that. I don’t plan on having surgery. Thanks for the advice.

  7. First, the Grey’s plot lines: you have got these characters down! It’s anybody’s guess-I just wish the show wasn’t opposite The Office.

    Second, I’m sorry about the leg and the napkin-in-the-panties test. There is very little room for privacy and dignity in the medical profession. I hope you don’t have to use a cane, but if you do, make it a cool one.

  8. I’mreally looking forward to tonight’s episode(s) but I just know it’s going to be a let down after your brilliant scenarios :-)

  9. Sassy Sundry

    The Office is a wonderful show, isn’t it, Robyn? I rent those episodes. I have to have my Grey’s. It’s pathetic really.

    If I have to get a cane, I’m going to wear a bowler too.

    Welcome, Conorje! The episodes are always amazing. But don’t get Carissa started about the mocha lattes.

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