Enquiring Minds Want to Know

Rod Stewart may tell us that “tonight’s the night,” but there are other proverbs, too. A particularly wise sage told us that “timing is everything.” And well… Friday was just not the right time for my chat with McI.

He’d had a very rough week and kept talking about how nice it was to just hang out outside and enjoy himself with me. One look at him told me that he couldn’t handle yet another thing on his mind at that particular moment. Attempting “the chat” would have been an exercise in bad timing.

He’d made a real effort to make time to be with me (he had to work this past weekend—criminal on such a wonderful holiday weekend). That effort spoke volumes, and I decided that was enough. Instead we had a long, wandering conversation about various and sundry things while reveling in the summer weather.

We also met some of my more interesting Somervillian neighbors (I love how “Somerville” is pronounced “Soumervle” by natives—it sounds like they have a mouth full of rocks), enjoying their backyards too. One philosophically interesting phrase that made McI and I laugh really hard after the guy went inside—“I’m a lawnmoah” (I wanted to photograph the stocky man, his fat head shaved, and caption it, “Ceci n’est pas un lawnmoah”).

Then went upstairs to watch a movie (before we got a wee bit distracted). It was a great date.

Part of me still thinks that I just chickened out, but a much larger part of me realizes that I did the right thing. One of the reasons why I can be such a good schmoozer is because I read people well. Friday night, I read a guy who just wanted to relax with someone he likes to be with. So relax we did. I’d really rather broach the subject sometime when we’re both relaxed and happy and when we aren’t distracted by big issues in life.

So that’s what happened. Your good vibes were felt, and perhaps they also helped me to see the wisdom in picking the right moment.


20 responses to “Enquiring Minds Want to Know

  1. Fair dues to yourself. But may I enter a caveat, even though it’s early days?
    One of the reasons the whole ‘where is this going’ question comes up is because the matter of making time for someone else has become an issue. Maybe when there are only bite-sized bits of time one never gets to ask the question? Which means it gains in validity all the time.

  2. Dear Prudence

    You are wise Sass! The time will present itself but I think you have your answer already!

  3. I agree–you are very wise, and sensitive. Good for you.

    I’m a designa.

  4. sounds like you made the right choice and had a gorgeous evening to boot :-)

  5. Good on you. Not reading the situation right has landed me in the shit a good few times in the past. So, when do you think it’ll happen…?

  6. Good call. But, it’s been a long time since I had that conversation. Don’t really remember the outcome either…

  7. Well, Conan, you are exactly right. We do need to talk, and soon. But Friday just wasn’t the right time.

    Thanks, Prudence. I’m not sure if I will get the answer I want, but I do know that I wasn’t going to get it on Friday.

    Designah Robyn, thanks for the encouragement.

    Conortje, you have no idea how beautiful it was here on Friday. Happy Birthday, by the way!

    Kav, it’ll happen soon. I’m not one to hold my tongue forever. I’ll wind up blurting it out eventually.

    Thanks, Mark. If you don’t remember, then it couldn’t have been that bad, right?

  8. Bock the Robber

    Oh God.

    Those fucking “chats” have ruined so many good relationships.

  9. Bock, I know. That’s why the timing (and wording) is key.

  10. Spam on your own blog, bastard.

  11. I have not been here long enough to know about “the chat” but I have had enough “chats” to know they mean change. One way or another. Good luck with that.

  12. A time and a place for everything. And if the chat is important, it is best to save it for a time when you are both ready.

    Good choice for knowing that.

    And I am about to admit to something terribly embarrassing. I did not realize that your blog title was Sassy SUNDRY thoughts until just now. I was reading it as Sassy SUNDAY thoughts!

    And I kept wondering…is she just really sassy on Sundays or something?

    God, doorknob here.

  13. Thanks, Zirelda. It’s one of those, “So, are you my boyfriend?” kind of chats. I’m just trying to figure out if I should be thinking of this as a more serious relationship (which is what I want), or if I should be branching out a bit.

    That’s funny, Maria. Nope. I’m an everyday sassy kind of gal. Thanks for the encouragement.

  14. I’m glad that all-in-all it went well. :>


  15. I’ve started to write a comment 4 times, but I don’t know enough of the detail & background to really give any suggestions.

    Simple questions – do you enjoy being with him? Does he enjoy being with you? If you think you can answer yes to these, ask him the same questions then ask if he’d like to take it further.

    Best of fortune.

  16. Re Maria’s comment, my own malapropism for your blog is Sassy Sun dried Thoughts.

  17. Sassy’s Undies Thoughts?

  18. Gah! My internet connection is being nasty today. I think this is what I said before:

    Thanks, Proxima.

    Welcome back, Kim. I think the answer to both of these questions is yes, so I do plan to talk.

    Conan, I used to automatically call you “the Barbarian,” so all’s fair.

    Dive, that’s just naughty.

  19. I had a boyfriend at one point (don’t be shocked, those who know me) and we were seeing each other for months before I actually asked to be together. Because we didn’t talk about it there was a lot of assumption. I assumed he was procrastinating on asking me out, or waiting for me to do it. When I finally asked because he hadn’t he simply said “I thought we already were”.

    I guess the reason I tell you that story is to say maybe on’t leave it too long, because your status will become assumed knowledge. Except the assumptions may be different.

    Luck with finding the right time,

  20. now that you have moved to Soumervle” I have moved you into my “local chatter” section of my blog I like to read. Welcome to the big time Sassy!!! :))

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