How Not to Respond to a Personals Ad

There’s a first time for everything. Yesterday I posted a personals ad on Craigslist. It wasn’t a big deal—I just said that I had an extra ticket to see The National for tonight and that if a guy was interested in seeing a show with a smart, cute, and funny woman to e-mail me through the site. I didn’t post a picture, and I made no mention of hanky panky.

Turns out that the first guy to answer the ad was the winner. His response was direct, just flirty enough, and expressed an interest in the band. He seems sane (we spoke on the phone) and decent, and he has a sense of humor and adventure. Oh, and he’s cute, which, let’s face it, if you’re going to date your way through a messy situation, is essential. I can’t really see wanting to date him on a regular basis, but he’ll do nicely for tonight.

A few of the responses I received were just sick and wrong. One guy complimented my tits—I really don’t like the idea of psychics using Craigslist. Another guy said that he didn’t like the band but thought that we’d be a perfect match. And then, there was this guy:

I’m a con-man. I seduce rich women out of their fortunes. I love my work, and the hours are good, so my friends would describe me as laid-back.

Are you the smart, beautiful woman with great taste that I will partner up with? We both have to think quick and cover our sociopathic tendencies?

Be sharp in every way — I’m picky. And I deal in face-to-face scams so you must include a picture.

He posted a picture. Here’s the thing, straight men. This kind of crap doesn’t work on any woman with half a brain cell in her head, but if you are going to try it, do be devastatingly handsome.

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13 responses to “How Not to Respond to a Personals Ad

  1. “Cute”?
    “Devastatingly handsome”?
    What’s wrong with fat, ugly, balding and middle-aged?

    I ask merely for information.

  2. Oh, Dive. Come now. You don’t casual date anyway.

  3. That’s because nobody would casual date a guy who looks like me.
    Hey ho.
    Enjoy your gig.

  4. You ARE brave.

    Have a blast, O intrepid one!

  5. I need to take a shower after reading the Con Man’s reply.
    Ew.
    Woman haters are good about letting you know straight away that they don’t think you’re a human being, aren’t they. Those pick-up artists losers tell men that they need to show disdain/contempt for women in order to get laid.
    The trolls are all over Craigslist so glad to hear you found a decent human being to go with you.

  6. Flirty Something

    look forward to hearing results!

  7. Few things frighten me, but Craigslist is one of those things. Just reading some of those ads makes feel like I need to take a hot antispetic shower!
    -P

  8. Have fun, Sassy.

    About the freaky guy–does he think he’s funny? Usually if they THINK they’re funny, they are anything but. Yawn.

  9. Be careful!

  10. I can’t wait to hear all about the date! Oh, and, take some pepper spray…just in case.

  11. Dear Prudence

    Be Safe!

  12. Well, that was interesting—and fun. I’ll post more later.

    And who did I hear from? McI. We’re going to see each other tomorrow. We’ll see.

  13. I am just so impressed that you did this. I could NEVER do it. I have never posted a personal ad nor do I have the guts or confidence to pull it off.

    I am truly impressed! You go!

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