Category Archives: Pain

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Happy Friday! It’s time once again for me to give my weekly tally of things political, personal, and nonsensical (idea stolen from the Bean Counter column in Boston’s Weekly Dig).

Here are this week’s Sassy Sundries:

My effing leg caused me to miss Grey’s Anatomy last night. One of these days, I should become a real American and get cable. Don’t tell me what happened. I’ll watch it online tonight, Friday night, while in bed with an ice pack on my appendage. Hrmph. Minus Ten

Congress hands Bush the Iraq War spending bill with a timetable for withdrawal on the fourth anniversary of the Mission Accomplished speech—a very nice bit of timing, allowing everyone the chance to snicker at the image of W in his flight suit. Plus Five

Bush vetoes the Iraq War spending bill, saying that he’s “the Commander Guy” (I thought he was “the Decider”) and that we can’t set a deadline for failure. Ummm… didn’t failure already happen about four years ago? Veto sustained in Congress, but message still sent that the American people are no longer behind this war. Minus Three

Before the return of the leg injury, got to do some dancing with McI. Plus Ten

Things just keep getting worse at the halls of justice. That Monica Goodling. No wonder she pled the fifth. It might work, too. In exchange for her testimony, she may avoid prosecution. Minus Two

Have discovered Casey’s, a most excellent local watering hole and contender for my favorite alternate parallel universe. Expect a post about Casey’s soon. Plus Three

Former CIA chief George Tenet tries to explain his actions in the days leading up to the Iraq War. While anyone paying attention knows that the White House was hell-bent on going to war with Iraq with or without the “slam dunk” quote, Tenet still comes off sounding self-serving and disingenuous (and not a little crazy). Even

Sometimes, wonderful things arrive through the mail. While I fear for the little old ladies of the world, I really needed the laugh. Plus Ten

Total Plus: 28
Total Minus: 15

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: Plus 7

Last Week’s Total: Minus 25,000,000,005

Pity Party the Second and Grey’s Anatomy as a Shakespearian Tragedy

Pity Party the Second
Pity Party the Second is in full swing—c’mon over. My effing leg hates me and wants to see me dead. I went to the doctor, but there wasn’t much she could do for me, aside from telling me that I might need to get a cane. I have a surgery consultation scheduled for next week if it doesn’t clear up. If it doesn’t clear up BEFORE next week, I might have to die. Or at least cut off my leg with a hacksaw. It might make a nice cane.

Just to be safe, my doctor sent me to get tested for blood clots today—an unpleasant exam if there ever was one. It’s an ultrasound that starts at the crotch and consists of having a tech pressing down with this little reader all the way down the leg. It tickles, and it’s incredibly embarrassing (having a little towel tucked into one’s panties like a dinner napkin makes one feel foolish). Sure it was cool to see my blood vessels and to hear what my blood sounds like, but all in all, I don’t recommend the experience. The upshot is that I don’t have blood clots, but I do have a motherload of pain and aggravation.

This sucks. Pass the rum and Moxie and Kool-Aid pie. Pity me!

Grey’s Anatomy as a Shakespearian Tragedy
In anticipation of tomorrow night’s two-hour episode of Grey’s Anatomy, Carissa and I tried to come up with some over-the-top things that should happen during the show. I think this could make for an excellent drinking game (if someone’s over-the-top plot point actually transpires during the episode, the others have to drink). Mine reminded me a Shakespearian tragedy.

Burke and Christina’s wedding is off.

Izzy eats all of the red velvet cake to try to get over George and requires emergency MacGyver surgery.


Meredith and Derek are quits, and Meredith does McSteamy in a fit of drunken self-loathing. She then jumps back in the Sound. She dies. Derek finds out about McSteamy. They kill each other.

Callie finds out about George and Izzy, and boots George out on his ear. George returns just in time to find Izzy on the operating table, her innards a mess of red velvet cake. Izzy dies. George commits suicide.

Burke gets shot again. He dies. Christina delivers a depressing speech and then goes on to perform some kickass surgeries in her wedding dress.

Your suggestions are welcome.

You’re Invited to a Pity Party!

You are most cordially invited to a Pity Party!

For: Sassy Sundry

When: Now, Before, Always

Why: Her Leg STILL Hurts a WEEK after Pulling a Muscle

I swear, I want to cut my leg off. I still can’t walk right. I can’t clean. I can’t do laundry. I can’t get all the effing empty boxes down the stairs and into the recycling bin. I can’t dance. People stare at me like I’m going to turn into Kaiser Soeze when I cross the street. People stare at me all the time. I want to beat them with sticks.

This sucks. Waaaaaaa. Pity me.

***Just In***

I’ll be serving this at my Pity Party. You can wash it down with rum and Moxie. I’ll have pork rinds too. I stole this from Found.